Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
