You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
