Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
