I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
