So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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