yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
