On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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