bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
