four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
