That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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