What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
