so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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