yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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