Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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