If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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