peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
