Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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