I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
