? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
