At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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