I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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