Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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