this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
