At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
