Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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