Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
