just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
