Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
