We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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