so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
