I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
