I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
