Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
