You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
