Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
