I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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