dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
