but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
