"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
