I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
