What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
