1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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