Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
