I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
