So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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