When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
