Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My vagina just clenched in fear
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
