he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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