Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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