i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
