Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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