i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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