oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
