After last night, I could never be a politician.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
